The mobile home (in my mind they were still called ‘trailers’) had two bedrooms, the furthest aft was fair-sized with two full-sized mattresses on the floor and a walking ‘path’ at the foot end of both mattresses. It was wall-to-wall mattresses. There was a large pile of pillows and blankets and quilts against the far wall. The smaller bedroom was considerably smaller and had a bunk bed arrangement with one twin-size mattress above the other. Vince had said there was an extra pair of jeans on the lower bunk. I changed into them. They were about a football field too long but they were dry. Since I had been warned to rest up, I flopped onto the lower bunk and sailed off to La La Land in an estimated three or four seconds.
What brought me back to consciousness was the smell of coffee. Upright and zombielike, with outstretched arms I staggered to the kitchen. Dan was pouring cups of coffee. I said, “Where did you get the cups?” He said, “Out in the mud, found three unbroken and washed them, want one?” Me: “Much obliged. Oh, man, coffee, that’s perfect.” He added, “You’ll probably need it.” As I savored dark, strong coffee, I asked, “So tell me about these women. What should I know?” Dan laughed, “Usually in their twenties, usually from wealthy families, always well-built and Miss America material-gorgeous, and almost always smart as hell. You know, Barney is one smart cookie. He hides it some.” I said, “That’s the impression I got last night after we talked for only a short time on the porch at the motel.” Dan said, “One of these days he’ll be a fine engineer, but what I was talking about is that Barney simply cannot stand stupid people, least of all his own family. Even gorgeous stupid people. In a way, it’s a personality defect, and yet …” He trailed off and then said, “Hey, Rain Dancer, don’t worry, you must be OK or he would never have stopped for you on the highway this afternoon. Anyway, Barney is like a magnet for beauty. Vincent and I are accustomed to it by now. You can bet they’ll be knockouts.”
Indeed they were. I had just finished brushing my teeth for the eleventh time when they arrived in a white Lincoln convertible, with the top down, though it was chilly that evening. And that’s when all the greetings and hugs and introductions and more hugs and kisses and yet more hugs got started as everyone made their way into our ‘open air living room’ with built-in clothesline assembly. Everyone was talking at once.
Note to reader: I’ve never been very good at recalling names, and the names of these girls floated into one ear, disappeared, and never reached that memory morsel in my brain, all the power of which had been sidetracked by the exquisite picture of these four truly stunning young women. So … to help you keep your characters straight and help you follow the action, I’ll arbitrarily assign four easily remembered names. The names will be: Christie, Cristy, Kristey, and Kristi, in no particular order.
Dan had set up and was half tending bar, now that Christy had brought some glasses. And some liquor had begun to trickle into the group. The girls had brought and set out some munchies. Kristee said the four of them had planned the party games on the way from Santa Fe and would start “when the time was right.” Dan asked how they could plan a party with the wind howling around their ears as they drove. She said, “You know how important appearances are. Well, we put the top down about two minutes before we got here.” We laughed and agreed, for appearance’s sake, it damn sure was a grand entrance. She said not to worry; they had indeed planned a good, fun party.
There were many and varied jokes about the remodel job on the front of the trailer and the laundry lines and the pair of socks still hanging there. There were so many questions about the Tucson to Boston scooter thing that I couldn’t answer fast enough. Everyone seemed to be having an energetically enjoyable time. Barney could be heard laughing while describing me having just emerged from the mud, saying go ahead, ask him about the moat. In my own head, I thought I would really take it easy on the booze and try not to get very drunk. Just maintain a tiny buzz. At the time I really enjoyed drinking whiskey, but tonight, that rum from Mexico was the closest drink to whiskey. Making very weak drinks for myself, mild rum and cokes, I maintained a good balance. Christie called for attention and said hey everybody sit down. There were four dinette chairs and someone, probably Dan, had provided four good stout wooden milk cartons with thick towels on top which made effective stools, one of which beaconed me to sit down next to Cristi. Christie asked if everyone had a place to sit. Yes we did. She said we’re going to play a party game. Vincent says what game. She says I don’t know yet … the special guest from Arizona, our Downpour Dude, will pick the game. Taken by surprise, I ask what did she have in mind and the answer was … anything that everyone can do to make a fool of themselves in front of everybody else. After a minute or so I said, OK, each person has to sing a song, any kind of song imaginable – for not less than one full minute nor more than three minutes. Someone has to be the timer and someone has to start. Kristy says she’ll be the timer and I, the Arizona Waterboy would have to go first. Everybody laughs at that little twist. So I do a phony Satchmo arrangement of ‘The Begat’ from the Broadway show, ‘Finian’s Rainbow’ and there was some applause and Barney said, “Get it? Get it? … Rainbow … Rain … soaked …?” Cristey was next and did a very sultry version of ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider’ and earned rousing applause. Dan tried ‘Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer’ and screwed up the lyrics and started making them up until the one-minute mark was reached, but he suspected it was closer to two full minutes. One after the other everyone gave it their best shot. This was a competitive bunch of people and spontaneous and resourceful at the same time. Kristy did a credible version of ‘Hail, Hail, The Gang’s All Here.’ And so it went as we sang and laughed and did some more booze. Cristy said, “It’s cold out here in your open air living room. Let’s go in the back, but everyone has to take their shoes off. Leave your shoes in the kitchen, but bring your drinks.”
Eight people in stocking feet sitting on two sheet-covered mattresses makes for an interesting mix. Kristy said each one of us should tell a little story. Dan said he would start and he did, saying he was a little sad to see the mobile home damaged, but it could be fixed. He said it was a special trailer because more than a year ago, he had ripped out all the propane gas pipes for the wall heaters, the stove and oven, and the hot water heater. He had replaced it all with very heavy duty, very safe electrical service. The hot water heater was 50 or 60 gallon fast recovery. He asked why did I do that? Because when the three of us, Barney, Vincent, and I, are on a jobsite and get to this trailer after work, we can take showers, one after the other after the other, without waiting for a puny little heater to catch up. Barney laughed and said I think you’re drunk. Dan said no, well maybe a little, but he had brought up the hot water heater because if anyone here wanted to take a shower anytime, there would be plenty of hot water and he would be glad to shower with them to make sure nothing went haywire. Barney laughed again and said I still think you’re drunk, but the thought was good. And he said Rosano is next, the Rain Ranger, who will tell us about the magic tent and the moat, right? Since something approaching a comedy routine had already been concocted in my mind, I agreed and the tale began. Most likely it was the liquor, but people started laughing, especially when I described the deadly serpents lurking in the moat and that even after escaping uninjured, it was necessary to reach back into the tent, across and very near to the danger zone to retrieve my sleeping bag bag and clothing bag, demonstrating that even an average man can show great courage when a situation calls for it. Barney was laughing so loud that everyone was laughing at him and not necessarily at the story. Kristee began a tale of knitting a lightweight sweater for her dachshund. There were groans all around. She continued. The sweater was black and white and when it was fitted onto the dog, it caused the mutt to look very much like a skunk. Of course she enjoyed reactions of people when taking the pooch out for a walk, as they either avoided her or just fled leaving all social graces behind. Other dogs being walked had little or no reactions other than their usual stuff. The best response came when she walked into the veterinarian’s waiting room for pooch’s appointment. The place emptied out as three or four people dragged their pets outside, allowing Kristee and her skunk to see the vet immediately. Now that was very crafty and she got a bunch of Attaboys from us. A few more stories and a few more drinks and most of us were at least mildly sloshed. Looking around at this remarkable female quartet, and being a bit oiled up from a few mild drinks, it would be easy to slip and fall into love with any of the four, at least for this one evening.
That’s when Cristi said it was time for The Second of Three Games. This is a contest to see which of us four girls will win Miss Congeniality. Everyone ready? Of course everyone was ready! OK, here’s how we play. The guys stand up and we blindfold them. And she had a paper sack in her hand and gave out strips of dark cloth and each of us was blindfolded by one of the girls. Now she explained that as soon as we started there was to be absolutely no talking. It was Vincent who started to say something and she said Shut UP. Then she said again – no talking. You guys have to remember us in order, from A to D. First, A will approach you. Then B, and C, and so on. One minute per turn. So you, Vincent, on the end, you will have to wait for three minutes before A approaches you. When all four of us have finished with all four of you guys, then you get to vote, but no talking. At all. Not even after the voting. Tonight you guys will be using the Braille method, that is, touching. You use your hands to find your personal favorite Miss Congeniality. Everyone understand? Without waiting for a response she said Good. Shhhh! And the room went nearly silent. Trying to remember being third in line, or maybe … oh, who gives a damn, this is so incredibly cool. Now, understand, to be blindfolded and to stand on a slightly springy mattress is difficult, but with a drink or two or three, for a whole minute or two, it gets a little dicey. So I waited and maintained my balance. Hearing or sensing some movement to my right, I turned my head slightly in that direction just as a pair of cool, gentle hands got hold of my face …
Note to reader: This impromptu, yet planned party was one of the best in which I’ve ever taken part. We were eight young healthy people. A considerable amount of booze was involved and more than a considerable amount of love-making occurred. So … if you don’t want the virtuousness of your reading glasses to be compromised, you should stop reading at this point, just for a moment, in order to skip past the remainder of this chapter and go directly to the fourteenth installment/chapter of this story and for those who prefer to maintain their purity and avoid reading about this little get-together, know that you’ll be missing one excellent party. The impure among you should continue reading normally.
… got hold of my face, turned it forward again and contestant A kissed my lips two or three times softly as I put my hands on her waist and oh, what a beautiful waist! It stopped my breathing. What a gorgeous sensation! Miss Congeniality Contestant A placed her hands over mine, pushed them downward until both hands were squarely on her bottom. For just a moment. Her right hand moved my left hand upward along her ribcage, under her blouse and pressed that most fortunate of all left hands against her naked breast and caused me a full coronary stop and then she was gone. Coherent thoughts – none. Trying to force my mind to process anything at all was interrupted as Contestant B put her hands on my shoulder and pulled me to her, kissed my neck, rubbed herself upward against my whole body length while her hands pressed against my back. Indescribable. I was stunned. Though it had been less than two weeks, it seemed so long ago that I had touched a woman. But right now this had stopped my heart, and it was time to die because heaven had already been reached. And poof, Congeniality B was no longer there. I wanted to reach for her. Several very empty seconds flew past and Contestant C put her hand on the top of my head and gently backed herself into me so that we were, in fact, spooning while standing, with her arms holding mine firmly around her torso as she moved to the left a bit and to the right a bit, again to the left and once more to the right. All was well with the world. Too soon, she parted my arms and left me. I was just catching on to this most sensuous of games when Miss Congeniality D put her hands behind my neck, drew me to her and she kissed my blindfold and her breath moved against my face, her breath so warm and soft. When a little kiss touched my cheekbone, I felt the gentle and steady pressure of her hand against my genitals and slowly now, she kissed the other cheekbone and she also had gone away. I had always felt some personal identification with the Rock of Gibraltar, but now, in the span of four minutes, I had become a Block of Jell-O. This was impossible. What a ride! Two or three silent minutes later. A female voice said softly: Now everybody listen. Don’t talk. You can vote for your favorite in a little while. First, we’re going to remove your blindfolds, and everybody will go into the kitchen for another round of refreshments and everyone can talk about anything except the games. Half hour break. After that we will play the Third Game. Gentle hands untied my blindfold. One of those hands took my hand and guided me to the kitchen.
The thinking part of my brain had ceased functioning, probably starved for blood since the aroused parts of my body took all that was available. Finally, a few social graces started filtering into my head and I said to Kristee, “Can I fix you a drink?” She asked what I was drinking. “Normally I drink whiskey and water, good US or Canadian whiskey, but now I’m drinking rum and Coca Cola, same as in the song.” She said, “Is it strong?” Thinking, ‘What a gorgeous creature.’ I said, “Doesn’t have to be, want to try a mild one?” She nodded yes. As I mixed, she kept one arm lightly around my waist. I was so hard, but didn’t try to hide it, figuring that’s what this is all about, anyway. Finally got the drink assembled, took a taste, offered it to her. “Here, try this one.” As she carefully tasted, I could not take my gaze from her face. She looked surprised, saying, “Oooh, that’s good.” Me: “Yeah, a little on the sweet side and a little bit weak, just like me. Look, usually it’s stronger than that, but there is no way that I’m getting drunk tonight. This is worth being sober for.” Laughing she said, “This is just fine. Do you want to mix another or can we just share? And ….Is there really a song called ‘Rum and Coke’?” I said, “It’s actually called ‘Rum and Coca Cola’. It’s a calypso from … I forget where in the Caribbean.” Kristee said, “Sing it.” Christi, who had joined us said she knew at least part of the song and started to sing it. Pleasant voice. These two beautiful women are for real and so poised. And, of course, I was a complete shambles. And I had to take a leak so badly. And that’s what I said. “Excuse me ladies, but I just have to pee,” and I headed for the hallway. Christi said “Me too!” and Kristee said “Me too! The two trailed behind me, but one got in front and into the bathroom first. Before the door was shut, the one behind me pushed me right into the bathroom and closed the door with the three of us inside. Christi first sat on the pot and peed, then tended to her tush with paper and the second sat right down and did the same. When she stood up, she said “Now it’s your turn.” And they both laughed. “Go ahead, go ahead.” So I sat down and peed too. One of them said, “Hey! No Fair! We thought you’d put the seat up and pee standing up!” I said, “In my condition, there’s no telling where the stream would go. That’s why I sat.” Now I stood up and the other said “Well, isn’t that so nice.” I tucked myself back in as best I could and thought maybe I am just a wee bit drunk after all. Back to the kitchen, where there were more conversations … me complimenting Barney on his choices and getting a thumbs up in return. We finished our shared drink just as Kristy was saying, “OK people, OK people,” as she rapped on the side of a glass. “Ready for Game Three?” There were no objections. She said same rules: “Finish your drinks and leave the glasses here. Guys, you get back in line.” That took a minute or two, but now I was last in line. Vincent was having trouble standing still and was rocking back and forth. I was guessing Vincent was quite drunk by now. Barney was quietly murmuring “alright, alright, alright,” until Kristy told him to be quiet. She said, “Ladies, put the blindfolds back on these guys.” And from behind the blindfold was tied around my head. “Now Ladies, tie their hands. So you guys have to cross your hands together behind your back. Vincent, in back not in front.” I felt a ribbon or strap tied around my wrists, but not very tightly. Kristy was saying, “Here’s the deal. Same progression as before, one minute per move, A through D. You get to vote later. Now you have to select your favorite Miss Congeniality without using your hands. When you feel her touch your nose, start to find out all you can for that one minute, but … the only thing you get to use this time … is your nose. Rosano, you’re last so you get to wait three minutes.” For a quiet party, this was the wildest. Your nose. My nose. Good thing I have a big Roman one. Oh man, this is something else, this is stratospheric! To my right, I hear a few soft grunts and groans, a couple of big thuds (probably Vincent falling down). I’m thinking Fantastic Delicious Craziness when I feel the first touch on my nose. Oh this is so delectable. And I nuzzled Contestant A on both sides of her face, and rubbed noses, and worked my way downward across her neck to one armpit, I now realized she was naked, oh sweetness of heaven, I nuzzled across one naked breast and the other, downward to one side of her navel, across the navel now the far side of the navel and finally downward into the fur line for just a second or two before the minute was over. After a few seconds and still leaning down, I felt the touch of Miss Congeniality B lift my head and then lightly tapped my nose. A perfect, simple invitation and I accepted, repeating the course I had followed with A, but just a bit more quickly to allow a few extra time for finishing touches. I felt B catch her breath, push against my nose for the briefest moment and then she also disappeared. Contestant C elevated my head and put her finger on my nose. What exquisite torture this was! As I walked that trail for the third time, embracing as much as possible, C kept rubbing my head so tenderly. Was I keeping a mental record for voting purposes? Hell, no. They were all so completely and superbly naked that … Oh, it was Congeniality D who now touched my nose, and guided my head to where she wanted it to be and that completed the final minute. This was such an irrational fantasy it would have to continue just to keep the universe in alignment and prevent galaxies from exploding. That beautiful female voice said it was time to untie the hands, but leave the blindfolds and that was done. Now it said to give each of the men a quilt to hold. That was done and I so loved the touch of those gentle hands giving me the quilt. And now the instructions said voting would happen later … and that we were to remember the four contestants as best we could. In the meantime we could return to the kitchen for another round of drinks, or use the bathroom, or just recline on the mattress where we were and take a little rest. And that would be my choice if there were a female with me. The voice said to remove the blindfold. I thought I would see four naked young women and I was wrong. Each was wearing a long nightshirt, like a muu-muu. No one moved for a second or two. Lowering myself to the mattress, I sat quietly as a few of the eight started back into the hallway.
Such an unusual gathering … good looking people, good conversation, fantastic sexy games, lots of drinking and yet, there was no loud or belligerent behavior … just tipsy, peaceful, open friendliness. Such a good thing. Kristee sat beside me and asked if I wanted to make another drink to share. I said no. I’d like to just rest for a bit, and that I felt a little cold. She reached back and dragged a couple of pillows toward us, covered our legs with the quilt and then began to unbutton my shirt and helped me take it off and the tee shirt was next, and the trousers and the underwear and socks and of course I cooperated and tried to be as helpful as possible and tugged at her nightshirt. Now we were naked under the quilt with her head half supported by my chest. Two people were standing and talking near us, but that mattered not at all. Soon we were kissing lightly, touching and exploring. Touching and exploring everything. Gentle and beautiful. In time I pulled her on top of me, whispering she could have more control that way, that I didn’t want to hurt her, and asked shouldn’t we use some protection. She said not to worry, everyone was on the pill. And carefully and slowly, she melted on top of me. Beautiful things happened and everything was splendid, everything was perfect.
Warm and comfortable under the oversized quilt, Kristee slowly returned to my side, settled into the crook of my right arm and we slept. Felt movement on my left side. Christi had pulled a pillow over, gotten under our quilt, snuggled against my other side and we all stayed warm and slept again. Some time had passed when I became aware that Christi was manipulating the situation for her own purposes. Since I’ve always admired initiative, there was certainly no protest from me. She asked if she got a turn? About to respond, I stopped when I heard when Kristee said, Go ahead, honey, he’s so considerate. So Christi and I made love and lingered and deeply enjoyed while Kristee dozed, occasionally petted and dozed again. Eventually, the three of us slept contentedly. The Goddess of Love, Aphrodite herself, might have become jealous of us and asked her god friend Hypnos to force sleep upon us.
My foot was shaking, no, someone was shaking my foot. It was Dan saying “Time to wake up and the coffee’s ready in two minutes.” It was as if I had been in a distant land in a different century, disoriented, disconnected and completely out of focus. Finally, I was able to zero in a bit more on the present world and looked for my two beautiful partners. Not there. Walked to the bathroom and peed and woke up some more. Back to the bedroom, put on pants and a shirt and socks since it was so chilly and walked into the kitchen, expecting to see a bunch of people and there was Dan alone with a coffee pot and a cup and a question on his face. I nodded yes, and said thanks. He said everyone has left for the day. I felt genuinely sad, since I so wanted to be with those two women again. After most of that first cup of coffee, Dan asked “Are you leaving today?” I asked “Are the girls coming back?” He shook his head no. “They’re back in Santa Fe and maybe even Albuquerque by now.” So I said softly, “That was so incredibly fine, almost unbelievable. Thanks to you guys, absolutely, thanks a million. Yeah, I’ll leave today as soon as I dry out that tent.” Dan nodded and poured more coffee and said “It’s almost 10 o’clock, while you’re packing up, could you do me a favor?” “Of course,” I said, “anything, that’s the least I could do for you people.” Dan explained that an insurance agent was supposed to come by to look at the damage, but wouldn’t look at it unless someone was here. Could I possibly wait for him, but no later than 1:00 PM. He said if he wasn’t here by that time, it meant he wasn’t coming today. I said, “Be glad to do that. Can’t lock a place that’s missing a wall, anyway, so I’ll leave at one.” Dan said, “Thanks, I should really be at work right now, so I’m leaving. Rain Man, those two girls are in love with you. Nice going. Anyway, a real pleasure to know you. Bon voyage.” He offered his hand and I shook it and said “Tell the two girls I fell in love with both of them. Say Good-bye to all the others, and take care and thanks again.” Dan left.
My pants had dried from yesterday’s rain. I finished dressing, went outside into bright sunshine. How painful reality can be. Untied the tent, rolled it out on the concrete slab and returned to the back bedroom, folded the quilt, just the tiniest scent of three people loving and resting. Put the quilt against the wall. To the kitchen for more coffee, which I drank as I washed the few dishes remaining. Went back outside, checked the scooter over. Tires a little muddy, but other than that, everything seemed OK. I’d get gas first chance. Shook some of the mud off the tent. Even that wasn’t bad and the tent was drying quickly, the dry air doing its thing. The insurance guy arrived at 11:00 and asked for Dan. I explained, he looked around for a minute or two, asked me to sign a paper saying he had been there, put a copy on the kitchen counter and was gone. The whole deal took less than five minutes. My thought was ‘Gee, tough job.’ I decided on one more shower with hot water before getting back to my journey. And that’s what happened.